Back to School Resilience

The beginning of a new school year comes with a wide range of big emotions, for kids, parents, and teachers alike. Some might feel excitement to see their friends, do a job they love, or simply to dive back into the predictable routine of a school year. Others feel a sense of dread around homework, grading, behaviors – the list goes on. Most of us feel a combination of both positive and negative emotions, coexisting.

We often hear (or say to our kids and students), in these times of stress or change, “you need to be resilient!” 

To be resilient is to stand up to the pressures and stressors of your life, and come out stronger on the other side. Yes – of course resilience is a goal we hold for ourselves, and for our kids. But what’s less often talked about than the need for resilience, is the process by which we can build it. Resilience isn’t something we find or stumble upon; it’s a skill we develop (ideally in childhood) through guided practice and modeling. 

There are a few key elements that can help to build resilience. One that stands out, as the start of the school year inches closer, is maintaining a sense of purpose.

We know that shortly after children learn how to speak, they discover the ever-powerful word, “why?”  This simple 3-letter word is a key to so much information.  When our little ones are learning about the world around them, they ask “why?” (relentlessly, sometimes) to express their basic curiosity. But, other times, the question leads to a far deeper understanding of purpose.  

Humans seem to naturally desire to know their purpose;  when we know “why” we’re doing something, it empowers us to keep showing up, and it also builds the resilience necessary to keep pushing through the hard times. 

So, as you prepare for this upcoming school year, whether you’re a parent or teacher (or student!), consider shifting your focus: focus less on exactly what needs to get done, and more on your “why” behind it all. You won’t be able to do this at every moment – and in fact, that wouldn’t be helpful – but if you can, it’s helpful to shift into that reflective place, where you can remember your “why.” And then, share that perspective with your kids.

Even if your children are young, help them to recognize the larger purpose school can have for them. Be intentional for yourself and your children to create goals that school can support. As you define your “why” you can create a whole new lens through which to view the upcoming school year – one that builds resilience, and supports growth through even the most challenging moments.

Let’s face it: the transition from summer, back into the school year, can be tough. But we can use this time to practice the skill of building resilience, for ourselves and our kids.