We hear it often: parents are worried about their kids’ anxiety. More kids today than ever before are experiencing heightened levels of anxiety: worry about school, friendships, performance, change, and even everyday tasks. And, to add a layer of complication, anxiety can show up in a variety of ways – and it doesn’t always look like nervousness. We see anxiety present as avoidance, perfectionism, irritability, big emotions, or a fear of trying new things. While we can’t (and don’t want to) completely shield kids from these feelings of anxiety, we can teach them the habits and skills they need to help their brains and bodies move through anxious moments with more confidence and control. Remember: we don’t want to take away the challenges, but rather teach the skills necessary to move through the challenge. That is the recipe for confident and capable kids.

This is where resilience becomes so powerful. Resilience isn’t something children are born with; it’s something they learn, practice, and strengthen over time, through experience. The tough thing about learning the skill of resilience is that it requires our kids to experience struggle, so that they can learn how to navigate it. As parents and teachers, we often feel pulled to try to remove the struggle, to help the children we know and love. But when we do that, we are really just robbing them of an opportunity to practice resilience.

Maybe this reminder helps: when kids face something challenging – whether it’s a tough assignment, a social situation, or an anxious moment – and they work through it with our support, they begin to trust themselves. Each “I handled that” moment becomes a building block for true, deep confidence. Over time, that confidence becomes one of the strongest ways kids can combat anxiety, because kids start to believe, I can do hard things, even when I feel nervous.

Supporting kids in building their resilience doesn’t require major lifestyle changes or perfectly calm environments. Instead, we can normalize small, consistent habits, woven naturally into daily life, to help kids feel grounded and capable. When adults intentionally nurture emotional regulation, problem-solving, flexible thinking, and healthy coping strategies, kids develop the internal toolkit they need to manage stress, face challenges, and build true confidence. And ultimately, these habits help kids grow into not just resilient children, but resilient, self-assured adults.

We like this list of habits to help support building resilience:

Naming and expressing emotions
Teaching kids to identify and communicate about their emotions is a great first step in effectively coping with strong feelings. Name it to tame it! We, as adults, can begin by modeling what it looks like to name our own feelings. We can also provide names for our kids’ feelings, until they are ready to do that on their own.

Practicing problem-solving
It’s hard – but SO important – to fight the urge to fix challenges for kids. But, instead of jumping in right away to fix every challenge, we can guide kids to brainstorm solutions. This builds confidence and shows them how they can influence their own outcomes.

Using calming strategies
Introduce tools like deep breathing, movement breaks, stretching, sensory play, or mindfulness to help their bodies return to regulation before they act. This skill is a great stepping stone that guides them toward resilience in the face of struggle. They’ll need to have the skills required to cope, in order to get through the challenge!

Building routines and predictability
Consistent morning, school, after-school, and bedtime routines help kids feel secure, which can reduce stress during transitions. Predictable routines throughout the day create space for kids to manage unexpected challenges as they pop up.

Learning to tolerate discomfort
Allow kids to experience frustration, boredom, or mild disappointment while supporting (not rescuing) them. This expands their emotional tolerance. We can be there with an understanding, empathetic perspective, without taking the discomfort away.

Setting small, achievable goals
Guide kids to set and meet simple goals, with lots of process praise along the way. Success builds motivation and a sense of capability. That builds into long-term confidence! 

Using positive self-talk
Model and practice phrases like “I can handle this” or “Mistakes help me learn.” Say those out loud to yourself! That’s how our kids develop their own internal dialogue. That inner dialogue becomes a powerful resilience tool. 

Strengthening connection
Regular moments of warmth, shared play, and one-on-one time create a secure foundation from which kids can explore and take risks. When kids feel there is a safe home-base to return to, they’ll have the confidence to take risks, knowing you’ll be there to guide and support them no matter the result.

Celebrating effort, not perfection
Praise persistence, creativity, process, and problem-solving instead of focusing on outcomes. This helps kids develop a growth mindset. When they view their hard work as their strength, they’ll be willing to try pretty much anything!

Encouraging independence and responsibility
Age-appropriate chores, self-care tasks, and safe adventures build confidence and competence. Kids need to experience themselves trying and succeeding to know they can!

When we zoom out, the goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety or smooth every path, It’s to raise kids who trust themselves, even when life feels hard. By supporting them through challenges rather than removing those challenges, we give kids the chance to practice the very skills that build resilience. And with each small habit, each moment of connection, and each opportunity to struggle safely, kids grow more capable, more confident, and more assured in their ability to handle whatever comes their way. Resilience doesn’t develop overnight, but with consistent practice and support from the adults they trust, it becomes the foundation on which kids learn to thrive.