We hear it all of the time: What do we do about homework?!

Homework struggles are common in households with kids of all ages. Whether it’s a kindergartener who’s dysregulated from the day and wiggling in their seat, a middle schooler who insists they don’t even have any homework, or a busy high schooler running home from afternoon sports and staying up too late to finish an assignment, the stress around homework can take a toll on parents, children, and their relationships. These tense moments can easily turn into power struggles, leaving everyone frustrated.

It helps to remember that homework isn’t just about getting the work done. More than anything, it’s about building routines, self-discipline, and confidence. We find that most often, kids resist homework because they feel tired, overwhelmed, or unsure of where to start. When we push harder in those moments, we unintentionally intensify stress and increase the likelihood for complete and total meltdown. A simple shift in focus from “we have to finish the homework” to “I want to support you through this part of the day” can change the dynamic drastically.

We find that a calm and predictable after-school routine (that includes homework) is the most effective way to support kids in completing homework and remaining regulated after a long day at school. Kids thrive on consistency, so having a set time and place for homework can reduce arguments – mostly by eliminating the dynamic of parents nagging about homework. When the ROUTINE says its homework time, it’s less about mom forcing homework, and more about sticking to a routine that works.

We also know that breaking work into smaller chunks, with built-in breaks, works well for kids at all ages. Especially at the end of the day, we cannot expect our kids to just power through, even if (to us) that seems like the best solution. A few short breaks may be more helpful than they seem! And, building in moments to celebrate effort rather than results can help kids feel more capable. 

Most importantly, maintaining connection—showing empathy, listening to their frustrations, and offering encouragement—can reduce resistance and build trust. It’s not about avoiding challenges, but rather supporting kids through those challenges.

Quick tips to ease homework battles:

• Set a consistent homework routine (same time, order of events, and place each day). Especially in these early-days of the school year, stick religiously to that routine so that it becomes muscle memory.
• Break assignments into smaller steps with short (fun) breaks. Check out our brain break ideas, do a stretch break, or lean on something you know your kids like to do to decompress!
• Offer choices when possible: “Do you want to start with math or writing?”
• Focus on effort and progress, not just perfect answers: “I saw you stuck with that tricky word problem!” 
• Stay calm! It can be so hard, but avoid power struggles by using encouragement instead of pressure. Model intentional breathing and calming strategies.
• Create fun vibes! Maybe try playing some soft music or serving a favorite healthy snack. Adding in something your kids enjoy will make homework time less dreadful.
• Communicate with teachers if the workload feels too overwhelming, and the strategies you know aren’t helping. You know your kids best!

Homework can be tough for kids at the end of a long day! But, we (as parents) don’t need to add to the overwhelm of it. Try these quick tips to turn the homework vibes around!