Managing Anxiety through Experience
By: Alexandra Murtaugh
Recently, almost every member of my family got hit with a stomach bug. It started with my 2-year-old, who picked it up from school, and quickly spread to me and 2 of my other kids. Our oldest son was so scared to get it, he kept avoiding everyone in the house. He refused to leave his room and washed his hands religiously for days out of fear of getting the bug. Five days had passed since we were all sick and he still was fine. He went to his first week of school and must have come in contact with another sick person because by 3 pm on Friday, he officially had the stomach bug. Iâll spare you the details, but he was sick for the rest of the night and had a fever the entire next day. However, in the middle of being sick, he said âWell, at least Iâm immune from the stomach bug for a while now!â I loved that he was able to see the silver lining, despite feeling badly. I realized that, for him, the fear of getting sick was actually more uncomfortable than the sickness itself. He was happy because the sickness meant he didnât have to worry about getting sick anymore.
For a lot of our kids, and frankly a lot of us too, the feeling of anxiety and anticipation of a negative outcome is worse than the thing weâre worrying about. I would have never told my son to intentionally try to get sick or not wash his hands, but he could have enjoyed himself quite a bit more had he not been worrying so much. Sometimes it can help our kids if we have them actually play out some of their worst-case scenarios when the thing theyâre worrying about is a manageable fear. Asking my son the next time heâs worried about getting a stomach virus to think back to this one, about how he said he didnât feel too badly after a few hours, about how the fever just made him a bit more sleepy and relaxed, and about how he managed despite being uncomfortable can help him better manage his anxiety in the future. Not all anxieties can or should be played out fully, but there are ones that we can use past experience to reduce present anxiety.
End on a good note
By: Lindsey Bernhardt
Over the summer I was in line with my family waiting for ice cream at our favorite place down at the shore. All the kids were excited to announce their chosen flavors and ensure their parents knew exactly what cone or how many scoops they wanted. While in line, a mother with two boys was waiting in line. The brother started to rough house a bit. As an onlooker, it appeared to be two brothers who were eager to get their ice cream and were getting restless. I then heard the mother say out loud to her sons, âYou guys have had a really good day so far. Letâs not ruin it!â. As the mother finished her sentence they moved up in line. The next mother in line had her son with her as well. The young boy tapped his mom and said, âThat's what you always say to me, donât ruin it!â.
âI am so proud of how great you guys were today. You shared your sand bucket when building that amazing castle. You said please and thank you to your Aunt today when she asked you what you wanted for lunch. You guys are amazing. I know we are very excited to get ice cream and I would love to see us continue the great work today and keep our hands to ourselves. Thank you both for doing such a great job today.â
Last, and certainly not least, is preparing them for waiting in line. In a previous article, we talked about what is predictable is preventable. If you know your kids have a tough time waiting in line quietly and respectfully for something very delicious, bring a fidget or have line games like âI Spyâ or âRock, Paper, Scissorsâ to play to help occupy their eager minds.
Get to know our Family Support Coordinator: Rachael Sine
I am excited to introduce myself as Rachael Sine, the new Family Support Coordinator at InMind Services. I am parent to two energetic boys and have over a decade of professional experience leading programs that strengthen the educational and social development of families. I am bilingual in English and Spanish and have worked with families from all different backgrounds. With this experience, combined with my passion as an advocate for the wellbeing of children and adolescents, I am eager to contribute to the vital work InMind does and assist parents and caregivers in navigating the rewarding yet challenging journey of raising children.
As the Family Support Coordinator, I look forward to bringing a wealth of tools and resources to families, tailored to support their unique needs and challenges. The alarming health advisory recently published by the US Surgeon General highlights the mounting mental health issues that parents and caregivers face due to the stress of raising children in todayâs demanding environment. While reading this information may be disheartening, the good news is that we are here to help alleviate this stress. This advisory underscores the importance of understanding the neurological processes occurring in childrenâs brains, which is crucial for crafting empathetic and effective responses to their behaviors. My goal is to equip families with the right knowledge and strategies to address these challenges and work to create a supportive and nurturing environment for both parents/caregivers and children.
To book a virtual Family Coaching Session with me, please fill out the form linked in the QR code. You can follow our Instagram account for tips on parenting with the âbrain in mindâ, or email me at [email protected]. I look forward to supporting you and your family!
