Breaking the Break's Bad Habits
By Lindsey Bernhardt
recently listened to an Instagram post from one of my favorite family clinical psychologists and founder of Good Inside, Dr. Becky Kennedy. In her post, she discussed the difficulties parents can have in breaking the bad habits we may have formed with our kids over the long break. Habits such as screen time, bed time, sleeping in, and more can have a drastic impact on the ease of rolling back into normal routines. To summarize her recommendations, she states that it is important to identify the one big change you want to make, how to make it happen, and ensure you're in a good place to do it. Taking time to reset our routines and being mindful of getting things back in order is imperative, especially this time of year.
With regards to step one, she recommends that each guardian “select one thing that, if it got better, would make things run more smoothly.” Viewers replied with a plethora of bad habits formed over break and the difficulties they had in getting back to “real life.” One parent even mentioned the large pile of laundry; which I can completely relate to. Another viewer discussed the importance of sleep routines. Whatever it is, start with the one thing that will have the biggest impact on positive change.
Her next recommendations circle around how to make it happen. Once the one thing is identified, Dr. Becky suggests you determine how to make it happen and whether or not you have the tools to do it. Finally, she stresses the last step which is making sure you are in a good place to make the change. If the answer is no, think about how to go about getting access to the tools that you need to help yourself and your family get back to your typical routine. Maybe it means engaging in self-care, starting therapy, or making time for friends.
As fun and wonderful breaks can be, it can disrupt our normal routines. If you find that is the case for you, I suggest you try the recommendations Dr. Becky made by tackling the one thing that has the biggest impact on getting back to normal and doing so by making sure you have the resources and are in the right headspace to do it successfully.
Reconnecting After Disconnecting
By: Rachael Sine
Last week, I spoke with a friend who had recently gone through a tough time. Among the many challenges she faced, she was struggling with feelings of guilt over not spending enough quality time with her daughter. Whenever she needed a break or couldn’t manage to be fully present, she’d hand her daughter the iPad, and now they were butting heads over almost everything. Emotionally, they felt out of sync. This scenario is all too common—life’s demands, whether from stress, work, or relationships, can sometimes pull us away from being fully present with our kids. If you’re feeling disconnected, take heart: it’s never too late to rebuild and strengthen your bond. Here are some ideas to help you reconnect and nurture your relationship.
Depending on your child’s age, have an open conversation and offer a heartfelt apology. You might say something like, “I’m sorry I’ve been so distracted lately. There’s been a lot going on at work, and it’s left me feeling stressed. I miss being close with you.” Or, “I realize I’ve been more frustrated than usual, and I’m sorry if that’s made you feel upset. It’s not about you, and I want to do better and spend more time together.” Acknowledging the disconnection rather than ignoring it models healthy communication for your child. It also helps them understand that experiencing a range of emotions is normal and that there are positive ways to work through them.
Prioritize quality time and play as much as you can. Ask your child what they’d like to do together and show genuine interest in their favorite activities. Let them teach you how to play their favorite video game, cook a special meal together, or turn up the music for a dance party. The key is to give them focused, individualized attention during these moments. Even if it’s just 10 minutes a day, consistency matters. Remember, rebuilding connections takes time, so be patient with the process.
Finally, set realistic expectations. If the disconnection has been significant, rebuilding trust with your child may take time. Consistency and predictable routines are key, as children’s developing brains flourish with stability. Celebrate small moments of connection and progress—those little moments will eventually build into something bigger. Each step you take toward reconnection reassures your child that your love is constant, even during challenging times.
